The curious case of Ashley "Pipely" Young.

First of all, I want to send a Birthday shout to a fellow Red and a member of the Manchester United Community, Lawal Aneru. Have a blessed day, Bro. 

Oh Ashley Young!

How he has the audacity to call himself a professional footballer is beyond me. Stories today claiming he is unapologetic about diving don’t surprise or infuriate me they just back up my theory that he is just thick.

Antonio Valencia and Nani have been inconsistent to say the least the last two seasons, but they have shown glimpses of their quality along the way. Young has not. Not since the 8-2 capitulation of Arsenal have we seen anything like a performance, in fact I would go as far as to say he hasn’t actually played for us since then. He doesn’t look like he can beat a player, he’s lost the ability to effectively cut in onto his right foot, and when he does he delivers in an awful cross that either hits the first man or goes flying over everybody for a throw in. 

His knack for doing this was on show against Shakhtar, when he tried to float a ball into the middle and it narrowly missed the far post and making into the highlights real on the presumption it was a shot, it wasn’t, the lad just can’t cross a ball. Then there was his corners. Why if Wayne Rooney is on the pitch is Ashley Young taking a corner? The only one that beat the man standing 10 yards away from him flew straight into the keepers gloves. As a winger you would expect crossing and corner taking to be up there in the list of ‘Things I do well’ (see David Beckham)

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Then there is his diving. Luis Suarez rightly gets all kinds of abuse from United fans (and fans all over the country) for his blatant cheating, yet Young gets defended to the high heavens, why? I understand he is our player, but diving is cheating, a blatant attempt to deceive the referee, and the mark of a poor player if you ask me. And it isn’t a case like Ronaldo, where people are trying to bring him down because he is dazzling them with his pace, trickery and power, because Ashley Young possess none of these attributes. The only attributes he has is that he is a body and he makes sure we have enough to name a full squad, and he would probably have won Gold at the Olympics (because he does look quite graceful when he flies theatrically through the air).

The fact of the matter is, I wouldn’t bestow him upon anyone (except maybe City, he’d fit in well with Milner) because he would simply bring down the quality of any side and I certainly cringe when I see his name and the name of our great club in conjunction with one another, and if he wants to go anywhere (and I mean ANYWHERE), "Izzy" would gladly take him there ASAP. 

Have a Blessed day, Guys!